'FOXCATCHER'

some of you may know.
and some of you question me like there's no tomorrow.

A new movie is coming to theaters next year by the name of 'Foxcatcher'

a true story.

1997, tragic struck the country when my uncle, Dave Schultz & Mark Schultz, Olympic world champion wrestlers. Dave was murdered and killed by John Dupont. the owner of the american wrestling team by the name of Foxcatcher.

the story is very, interesting.

The parts of the motion picture will be played by,
Channing Tatum as Mark Schultz (step up, 21 jump street, the vow)
Mark Ruffalo as Dave Schultz (The hulk in Avengers)
Steve Correll as John Dupont

and, the rest. you will be able to watch in theaters next year.

thanks eeeerbody.

a little bit of catchin up.

welcome back! 

i know i've ignored this for a while. but, no worries.. I'm here again, and have got a couple things on my mind.

first off, yes i am not going to pleasant grove next year.. I am transferring to a new school for my senior year of high school. Pleasant grove is a wonderful school. but too much had happened my junior year that i had fallen behind a little too much. so, that happening, i needed another chance, and another choice. there was no way i was going to be able to finish high school with my desired GPA by staying at pg. the school i will be going to meets all my needs. ill be taking 8 more core classes than usual, i will have shorter classes, it will be starting later, ill be in smaller classes, and a strict system which will force me to get my lazy A to school. after not long of debating on which would be a better decision, ive decided this is the best school for me. so i will finally be able to finish high school with the GPA that suits me. finishing my freshman year with a 4.0, and ending my junior year with a... (lets just say its not even close to a 4.0) hahaha. to end this topic, i want to state that i'm not leaving PG cause i hate it. i love PG and the people. theres just a little too much on my plate to juggle grades, social life, and things at home. 

seeeecond of all. at home not much is going on except for, mark is gone still in San Francisco, Califonia going to school. Sarah is now a little PGHS cheerleader, following in her big sisters footsteps.  my mom, she's doing alright. definitely, could be better. but we take what we are given. her health is not at all the greatest. but, i appreciate every day that i spend with her. 

      

   there is not one second that i am around these people and am not lifted with so much joy in my heart. we may be a small family. but a assure you, we share enough love to spread around the earth 20 times. our BIG and BOLD hearts never fail to let us drop our heads to the floor. 

hahah car wreck?

WOAH. 

wear your seatbelt! 

don't be a dumbass like me! hahah

really though. 

buckle up. 

"If you could be anyone in the world, and trade lives with.. who would you be?"

today my mom asked me a very intelligent question.. sitting side by side she turned to me and said "Kelli, if you could be anyone in the whole world.. and trade lives with, i mean looks, money, just the whole deal. who would you trade with?" 

i sat there for about 5 minutes. thinking.. wow. what a good question.. i know that so often i think to myself and say "wow, i wish i could be so and so.. their life is just so amazing, they are so lucky. i would do anything to live the luxury that they live." 

still sitting there im just thinking in my head. there are so many people in the world that i wish i could take place as. my mom looking at me just waiting for what id say, her thinking i would say someone like selena gomez,  to be justin beibers girlfriend, or carry underwood to have her amazing voice, or the prince of englands wife. 

a long pause sat. i looked at her and said. 

"i would be jesus." 

she looked at me with pure amazement. 

Jesus is perfect, he is pure. he is absolutely the best person that has ever walked the earth. and anyone would be just absolutely stupid to not pick him to trade with. he has more love for people than we will ever imagine. 

she asked me again, "alright, beside jesus.. who else would you be. someone that lives today"

i looked at her and laughed. 

"are you really asking me that question?, i would be myself. look at me! I'm the luckiest person in the world!"

im healthy, good looking, (and maybe a bit too confident), im happy, blessed with a wonderful family, i may not be the richest person in the world.. but i find my ways of getting by. I'm funny (even if im not, at least i think i am..) and im smart (hahaha well, at least I think i am.. emphasis on the I) haha 

 last but not least.. i would choose to be me.. because if I'm not me. then nobody else would be.. and that would be a shame to have me not to exist. cause i know, i have changed if not one.. but a FEW very important lives in this world. and i have given many lives a chance to change mine. 

i feel like i should say thank you at the end of this, hahah i feel like i just gave a talk. so i guess.. thank you?:) 

-love, the best person you have ever met.

just know,

 i used to be so different than i am now, and ill be the first to admit it. 

i used to be stubborn, unappreciative, mean, selfish, and immature.

(those bad qualities were mostly towards family.. sorry mom and sarah)

ive never realized till now how much different i was, until i took a good look at myself.

i understand these things.. which makes it so easy for me to admit. if you know me, you know how hard it is for me to open up and let people know my real story. 

i don't know why? i never want to be pitied. i cant handle the fact of someone feeling bad for me. i really cant. so that's why i have so many secrets. 

i am the way i am for a reason, and i was the way i was for a reason.

i didnt choose to be all of those bad qualities. nobody chooses to be a bad person.

Im trying to shape myself. its possible, it is. 

"sometimes trying to be good, is just as important as being good."

I wanna be "good" i wanna be the sweet, caring, helpful child i used to be before i became a stubborn teenager. 

im trying. i am, and i know im gonna accomplish.

because if there is one person that's hard on me, its myself. 

its started once i noticed how bad my moods effected my loved ones. its like something hit me. 

i want the people i love know i love them. 

I really love everybody. I really do. 

i want everyone to know, i wanna scream it to the world!

I just want everyone to know. I'm back. Im kelli, the sweet little girl i used to be, in the newest, most improved form. :) 

I smile 90% of my day. 

i tell my mom i love her at least 10 times a day.

when im not home i try to call and tell her. and when she doesn't answer not gonna lie, i get a little heartbroken, cause she wont know that i thought about her that second.

i smile with my sister (which never used to happen, sadly) 

i love being around the fun, sweet, funny, bubbly, beautiful little angel i love calling my little sister. 

shes such a blessing.

I love my big brother, my bodyguard, my best friend.

He's played more than one role in my family, and respect has just gained rapidly for him over the years, just for that reason.

i love my mom. i tear up just thinking about her. shes the strongest soldier i have ever known. shes the one person that has made me who i am. im being serious right now, if you met her, and spent a couple seconds with her. you would literally fall in love. there's not one day that goes by that i don't think about her constantly and hope that she has a smile on her face. i will forever believe that shes the most incredible person to walk the earth, right beside Jesus.

if you ever see her, and you don't immeditly say hello.. you will regret it. she changes lives.

i could go on for days about my small incredible family. 

we fight occasionally. but what american family doesnt. 

i just want them all to know, i think about them a big portion of my day.

Thank you for taking time to read this long blog post, it means a lot. 

i know i dont share too much about myself, or what has happened in my personal life. 

but i hope this satisfies a little bit of what you wanted to hear about myself. 

NEVER be dependent.

alright, due to my lack of skills to be able to fix anything that i screw up. it definitely got the best of me tonight. pushing one little button on my phone had shut the whole network down. and in all honesty, it tore me apart. first screaming a couple of "bad" words. i found myself bawling over the stupid device.

seriously? after bawling to my family about how stupid i am to screw something up that was so simple not to touch. i did. i guess curiosity really did kill the cat. cause trust me, i sure felt like my life was over.

they all felt really bad for me? i started giving all the reason's why i was so upset that my phone had been shut down.

• How am i going to be able to get home from school?!
• what if i have an emergency and have to call someone?
• what if something comes up and someone has to call me?!
• what if i have to use my phone at school cause im stranded!
• what if i get kidnapped?!
• what if im stranded at the school for lunch and i cant call my friends?! 
• what if i need to mom and she wont answer cause she knows its not my number?!
• what if i have to research something in class?!
• what if i forget something at home and i cant call you to bring it to me?!

..after listening to myself, im thinking. what a joke. im tied to something that is so irrelevant to what is actually important in life. i get so caught up in anticipating the future, that i cant even enjoy the moment.

cause really, look at those questions. am i really gonna get kidnapped? i think not. and if so.. i have feet. cant i run? cant i scream?
i can. but do i realize i can?
nope. because of the dumb cellular that makes me so dependent on it. that i almost feel helpless without it.

this can relate to SO many life lessons. translate this to how you want. cause i have learned more about myself in these last couple minutes, more than i have almost my whole life.

a life lesson is hidden in every single thing you do. just look, and surely you'll see. i promise you. 

to leave you thinking..

well, okay. let me first state a small fact.. every night i dream of someone, and the dreams always end me with being extremely happy with the one i love. but then tragically i wake up and its nothing close to what my mind and heart crave. so you could guess that i wake up feeling quite disappointed. but hey, who wouldn't be upset that a dream isn't reality?! i'm sure more than 90% (unless its a nightmare, then count me out)
but the worst part; you know when you dream, it seems all so real, and you're so convinced that its true?
-well thats me every night.
i can honestly say, i haven't gone one night in a long long time without dreaming of being so incredibly happy with him, then waking up wanting to throw punches at the wall.

..a little while after i wake up.. with pure disappointment. i start to think.. it all had happened for a reason. and never again will i take such thing for granted.